Those lovely memories,
Those lively reminiscences,
How can I rub them off
How can I forget them,
How can I make my heart understand,
that these memories are out of my hand…
There’s so much to say,
So much to share,
But all my words are locked inside me
buried deep inside me,
I want it all out of me,
but my silence won’t allow them,
The story will remain endless
because of this increasing difference.
The silence around is pinching me,
But out of it,I have to come,
I have to stand this bad time,
and step out of it with those lovely, lively memories washed away
and new blooming energy directing me towards a
beginning of a NEW LIFE…
Sometimes memories are the reason why one can’t move ON.
The usual questions, the usual answers...
If I am a person, I am surely The fusion of a sperm and an ovum..and if I am it, the others around are too.. silly right!!
Okay.. Q1)I have a father, my father too has a father, his father too had a father and his father did have a father... I mean can anyone please tell me who was the first father??..
What all is going on here is really a mess,
and my little head is a storage of mess.
Q2) What will happen if we all die?
Are we going to reach heaven or hell?do they have fairies or demons?...
Q3) Why did The creator of the Universe make me a human? Is it because I was a sinner in my previous life or is it because I did something very great?
There are a million more questions that I face day and night, this was just the main one...
If I say there was a time I actually wanted to die, just to see what will happen after death... my little head was unable to take the load of a million questions that was surrounding it... And above all Robin Sharma's book "Who Will Cry When You Die?" Just the Title had a deep impact on me. My "inquisitive soul" wanted to know so much, that it almost convinced me to kill myself.
According to me, it wasn't a suicide.. it was just a way of answering myself...
Yes I am alive, as I am sharing this stupid thought of mine.We all have 2 lawyers and 1 judge in us. I call them The Mayavi(My angel), The Lutapi(my demon) and the ultimate me "The Shubhi". My judgement was to kill myself, as I found Lutapi more convincing.The argument that I faced that day is given below:-
"Death is so fascinating!You can know who you are?Kill yourself, you will find answers to all your questions in just a moment." said Lutapi.
"No!! You have no right to take your life.There are many more ways you can find out answers to all your queries." argued Mayavi.
"If there are many other ways Mayavi...Pl. tell us". Lutapi said with an evil grin.
My inner voice shouted "Death is the only solution" DEATH DEATH DEATH.....
I roamed around like a mad in my house to find a way to kill myself(Though the decision to die was an easy one but TO DIE was something unreasonable).
I was determined to take the shit out of me...and suddenly a beautiful dupatta caught my sight. I planned to make a noose out of it.
Everything was done. Nobody was there around me, I was alone with my lawyers in me. I thought of wearing a beautiful dress before leaving this World. I was all set to hang myself. The beautiful colorful dupatta was an appointed Yamraj of mine.so I Shubhi Sunil stood up on a chair all set to hang myself...and as expected Suddenly my Angel Mayavi shouted," Stop!!!!"
"I have a perfect justification". Mayavi said.
I was actually waiting for something that could change my mind.
Mayavi continued “Everybody knows the secrets of life after death but there are only few people who know all the secrets of life being alive. Don’t be the same... Explore this beautiful world!! Spread Love, Happiness, meet different humans, and talk to them...Live each moment. Death is a truth, but Life is a reality. Truth will come to you one day. Wait for that day! In between this amazing life and the fascinating death you will get answers to all your questions. “Have patience! That’s all.
After listening to this my thoughts cleared up. I wanted to live...
Life after death is a mystery but Life is a reality...Knowing the life after death is not important but knowing life being alive is very important.
When I was in Dilemma,I listened to my heart,
When he was in Dilemma, he listened to his brain,
when my Heart and his brain stopped answering we listened to each other…
In between the Dark and the Daylight,
when there is no activity,
all souls calm and quiet,
when there is something going on within us,
without any movement or noise.
God plays his movie,
our subconscious mind watches it
a lovely little story,
us,completely drowned in it like his little babies.
Lost in Fairy dust,
angelic we feel.
In between the Dark and the Daylight,
secrets of life is revealed.